Exclusion with Purpose: How God Uses Solitude to Draw Us Closer

In our journey of life, there are times when we grapple with feelings of exclusion and loneliness, moments when it seems as though we're always on the outskirts, left out. Some experience this intermittently, while for others, it's a persistent sense of being neglected or abandoned, a repetitive theme in their lives. It can appear as if, no matter where you turn or what you do, the outcome remains consistent: a profound and isolating solitude.

But here's a perspective to consider: sometimes, you are the architects of your own isolation in partnership with God. Growth, transformation, and deep spiritual encounters often require moments of solitude. It's during these times of being alone that God actively works on you, molding and refining you as you stand still and quiet in His presence, much like the potter with the clay.

"When you feel excluded, remember that God is calling you to intimacy, not isolation.  Solitude isn't loneliness; it's God's way of preparing you for something extraordinary."  Stay in the Word.

Psalm 46:10 says,"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." There are those among us who are destined for more than just the occasional "be still" moments; their calling may entail a lifetime of them.

Why? The reasons may remain shrouded in mystery, but one thing is certain: your calling demands your obedience to it. Instead of resisting it, embrace it. Many may label themselves as introverts, assuming it's a self-imposed limitation or even a hindrance. However, if, despite your efforts, the people you meet, and the personal growth you've experienced, you still feel an invisible barrier surrounding you, it's not a reflection of your doing or undoing; it's a manifestation of God's divine plan and His presence.

I love to personalized Isaiah 43:1-2:

"But now, this is what the Lord says to you, (your name) — He who created you, He who formed you: 'Do not fear, (your name), for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, (your name); and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you, (your name). When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze, (your name).'"

God promises to be your eternal protector and companion. Instead of being someone who needs a multitude of friends and relationships, perhaps you have only a few, and they may not even reside in the same city, state or even country as you. This might be intentional.

God desires to hold the foremost place in your life. He is a jealous God who doesn't want to occupy any position less than the top spot in your heart. Therefore, He could be orchestrating your journey with friends who are just far enough to ensure your focus remains on Him but near enough to offer companionship, guidance, and friendship, yet never to replace Him. He seeks our complete reliance on Him alone.

Prepare yourself, for this truth can extend to your spouse as well! If your partner occasionally appears gruff or challenging, like a bear, you understand the sentiment. It's crucial to abandon the illusion of those flawless, movie-like romantic love stories. If you're evaluating your love life or marriage through the lens of romantic love or any love that isn't life-giving, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

God won't send someone who obstructs His presence in your life (the devil will though), but He may send someone who inspires you to pray and strengthens your connection with Him.  If you are a parent you know what I mean.  Some people keep you on your knees.

Now, what if I told you that some of you who feel alone aren't truly isolated but rather set apart by God for a special purpose? You see, while the world and even many Christians may be clamoring for attention, love, admiration or needing to be chased after, and constantly seeking approval, there exists a unique and chosen group of men and women who are set a little further apart than some. This select breed is marked by God, and no matter what you do or where you go, you are His, alone. He is a jealous and holy God, and He guards you, allowing only a few to draw exceptionally close to your inner world.

"God's jealousy isn't about limiting your relationships; it's about ensuring He's your number one."

Psalm 4:3 from the Bible says: "Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him." This verse emphasizes the idea that God distinguishes and sets apart those who are faithful to Him. It also conveys the message that God listens when His faithful servants call upon Him, highlighting the significance of a close and responsive relationship with the divine.

It's important to note that closeness to God is also a matter of personal faith, devotion, and spiritual maturity, which can vary from person to person, not only a special "calling". In the Bible, we find examples of people who had particularly close and intimate relationships with God, such as prophets, patriarchs, apostles, and other devoted individuals. These individuals had unique callings and experiences that brought them into deeper communion with God. Some well-known examples include Moses, who spoke with God face to face (Exodus 33:11), David, known as a man after God's own heart (1 Samuel 13:14), and the apostle John, who leaned on Jesus' bosom (John 13:23).

The Bible also emphasizes that God

desires a personal relationship with each individual, and no one is excluded from His love and grace. Everyone has the opportunity to draw closer to God through faith, prayer, and seeking His presence. Scriptures like James 4:8 encourage believers to "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." Ultimately, the closeness of one's relationship with God is a matter of personal faith, commitment, and spiritual journey, rather than a measure of hierarchy or favoritism in God's eyes.

So, if you ever find yourself in a place of solitude, remember that it can be a sign of God's set-apart work in your life, your own passion for Him, a season, or lifetime calling. Use this time to draw near to Him. In this sacred space, you'll discover that you are not alone but chosen, and that God's presence and purpose in your life far surpass the fleeting validations of the world.

Embracing the wisdom of 2 Timothy 4:16-17,, "At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me" During times of exclusion or devotion, we can receive profound peace and insight. In this poignant passage, the Apostle Paul reflects on a pivotal moment in his life when, at his first defense, he found himself utterly deserted by those around him. His words, "At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me," resonate with anyone who has experienced the pain of abandonment or exclusion. Paul's response, however, carries a deeper message: "May it not be charged against them!" This response exemplifies a spirit of forgiveness and grace, urging us to let go of bitterness and resentment when others fail us.

Yet, the heart of the passage lies in the profound truth that Paul unveils—despite the human desertion he faced, "the Lord stood by me and strengthened me." This statement underscores a powerful message: in our moments of isolation or when we've learned to seek solace in solitude with God, we have the privilege of experiencing the Almighty's unwavering presence and strength. It's a reminder that even when it feels like no one is standing beside us, the Lord is there, as a constant and faithful companion.

Instead of succumbing to the despair and loneliness that exclusion and devotion can bring, we are encouraged to adopt an attitude of gratitude. We must recognize that God's presence is not only sufficient but surpasses any human companionship.

Often, human friendships, though seemingly close, can harbor gossip and backbiting, revealing a disheartening aspect of human nature. In contrast, God's companionship is pure, sincere, and unfailing.

We can be grateful for the Creator of the universe being on our side, ready and willing to fight our battles. He contends with those who contend with us, coming to our aid in times of adversity. This relationship with Jesus is unlike any other, marked by its uniqueness and intimacy. Once we experience the depth of this relationship, we'll find ourselves never wanting any other companionship, for God's presence is truly unparalleled.

Deuteronomy 31:8 is a profound verse that encapsulates the assurance of God's unwavering presence and guidance. In this verse, the Lord is depicted as the One who goes before us, leading the way. He pledges never to leave or forsake us, underlining His enduring commitment to His people.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

This divine promise is often referred to as the "breakers' anointing" because it paints a vivid picture of the Holy Spirit as the vanguard, moving ahead of us to clear the path through life's challenges. He is the mighty force that breaks through obstacles, making a way where there seems to be no way. This imagery beautifully illustrates God's role as our divine forerunner, paving the road for us to follow. It reminds us not to fear or be dismayed because we have a faithful and powerful leader who precedes us in every aspect of life.

The verse from John 14:18 is a comforting and reassuring message from Jesus to His disciples. In this passage, He promises, "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." These words convey His deep love, care, and commitment to His followers.

The disciples were likely feeling a sense of impending abandonment and uncertainty as Jesus spoke about His departure. However, Jesus assures them that they will not be left alone. He promises to come to them, indicating that even though He will physically leave them, He will not forsake them but will remain present with them in a different way by sending the Holy Spirit.

This verse encapsulates the enduring nature of Jesus' relationship with His disciples and, by extension, with all believers. It serves as a reminder that even in times of change, transition, or uncertainty, we are not left as orphans without guidance and support. Instead, Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, continues to be with us, guiding, comforting, and caring for us as a loving and faithful presence in our lives. It is a message of hope and the assurance of His abiding presence.

"Growth often requires you to stand still in God's presence before moving forward and just as simple this solitude can be a place of profound growth, where God deals with us, shapes us, and refines us."

The next time you find yourself feeling excluded, left out, or facing challenges in your relationships, remember the intimacy that God desires to have with you. He longs to have a close and personal connection with each of us, and sometimes, this may require reshaping our relationships and circles.

God often needs to "reinvent" us, to mold and shape us into the individuals He intends us to be. In this process, He may lead us away from certain people or environments that hinder our spiritual growth and understanding. Even in the context of the church, you may not always find your place where you expect it. God orchestrates the people you spend time with, those who feed you spiritually, and those you have the opportunity to nourish as well.

Just like in a diverse church community, where everyone may not be at the same level of understanding, growth, or calling, God designs unique paths for each of us. He places some individuals in specific groups where they receive the healing and breakthroughs they need, while your godly counsel and influence may be better suited to a different setting.

We are all on different journeys (same destination), progressing at varying rates, and serving distinct callings. We are like streams flowing from the same source but branching out differently as we fulfill our unique purposes.

Some are called to missions, some to teach, some to be business owners, and some to serve in humble roles. It's essential to avoid passing judgment on God's people based on their roles or positions. Instead, let us practice humility and refrain from showing favoritism or making hasty judgments. God's ways are higher than ours, and His plans are intricate and purposeful. Embrace the diversity of God's people and their various callings, and remember that God's intention is for each one of us to be in an intimate and dynamic relationship with Him.

Amanda Allen

www.KingdomRevelations.com